BOWERY DIME MUSEUM

I've seen a bearded baby here

That never made the news

Unlike the fearless lady

With her daily tattooed shoes

I heard tell there was a politician

Who smiled without a tooth

She was just invented yesterday

So appeals to this year’s youth

There are newborns every minute here

There are punters by the score

Mods obsessed with yesteryear

Are always back for more

Lots of freakish normalcy down at The Bowery Dime Museum

All expositions for a dollar you should come and see ‘em

There are eunuchs’ sons from antiquity

In virgins’ daughters laps

And two faced tv presenting monkeys

Who offer each other claps

Lots of modern freakery down at The Bowery Dime Museum

If you perchance can spare a dollar then you’ll get to see ‘em

Roll up here for the bombardier, armless in his trousers

See the Kaiser’s wax moustache tackled by some Scousers

Underneath the trestle are mice as big as cats

And once inside the armoire they procreate with rats

There are cage free Wall Street tigers

Exclaiming carpe diem

But you'll be safe

They've got the dope down at the Bowery Dime Museum

There’s an elephant painting tables

And a pig that waits your easel

There’s a stoat in a coat

Created by Zeus

And a naked lady weasel

Lots of yadda yadda

Down at the dumdy dum

You should pickle herring

It’s possibly more fun

There’s salad that’s eating models

There’s fags that are smoking butts

There’s sex starved Sheeney on his hole machine

Siphoning his nuts
Paradoxes down on the Bowery
That give only one way to read it
You may be the Earl of Big Fuck Hall
They'll call you a feckin' eegit

Lots of smoke and mirrors

Down at The Bowery Dime Museum

You’re not worth the price of entry

If you can’t even see ‘em